"G's And Degrees"

        I think it’s time to take a stand. If you didn’t know then you’re about to find out. Ambition is sexy. Intellect is sexy. And it’s time that we all strive to be with people who will push us to be better. I always have a story, and today’s piece is no different. You ready? Well here it goes. 2007 was the summer before my sophomore year of college. At the time I was really getting over a break up. There was one day where my mother was just speaking to me (she likes to randomly have these talks and they spring up seemingly out of thin air) and she was talking about choosing someone to be with. At the time I was 18 and wasn’t really thinking too much in those terms. One thing she told me that always stuck with me was that when you choose to be with someone you should be on the same level. Now when she said that I didn’t agree initially, I felt that if I fell in love with a bus driver then who cares? As I got older it began to make sense. She wasn’t talking about being on the same level in class but she was talking more along the lines of philosophy. Are we like minded? Do we share goals? Do we want more for ourselves? Are we pushing each other to be great? Those are the things that are called into question. For my ladies, those are the kind of guys you should be seeking..
        I believe men should be go getters. Complacency is a dangerous thing, and it’s something we all have to fight. But you have to take pride in going out everyday and getting it, whatever “it” is. You don’t need to be in school necessarily. I don’t think degrees equate to intellect. Life is the best teacher. Maybe institutions like college help you articulate much better but it’s not the end all be all.
         Some of the smartest people I know didn’t go to college. But whomever you seek or whoever approaches you, you have to make sure that they’re about something. Don’t just take the whole “oh yea I’m in school” thing and run with it. Take that statement at face value. Ladies ask more questions. Make sure dude has a goal with a plan of reaching it. Find out if he has a passion and if he’s driven. Whether he’s in school or working does this guy want to do better? Lastly make sure you see that he’s practicing what he’s preaching. Ambition builds your stock whether you’re being courted or you’re the courter.
       If anyone is interested in a bad boy and think that no one knows him like you do….you can read this here carefully. There aren’t any real G’s in college that plan to run the street and also hold down a W2 worthy stable job. You’re getting older so you have to think older. You don’t need an emotional roller coaster anymore. You ladies need to be respected and treated well. You deserve that much if you carry yourself accordingly. Stop trying to save unworthy men. Leave those fellas to the birds that much clap their hands during speech to get their point across. There’s too many times that there is writing on the wall and we don’t choose to read it. We know when we’re putting ourselves in situations not conducive to our growth so it’s time to combat those bad habits.
       Too many times I think great women limit themselves ultimately. I know women with a shit load of potential and their generosity humility and intelligence is squandered on losers. Well in the words of Chris Rock (who I frequently quote by the way) “That ain’t right!” You’re too good to not have a guy match what you bring to the table. Having a clear understanding of one another could alleviate so much heartache. You can find solace in the fact that you’re dealing with someone responsible and someone who isn’t just sitting around waiting for you to make your next big move. It’s quite fine for you ladies to take control of your own destiny. I’ve never been opposed to a woman taking control sometimes, so make sure the floor is yours.
        To my guys, I’m not bashing I’m just being honest. If this made you uncomfortable you need to get your shit together. We’re put here to add something special to this world no matter how small. If you want to leave a legit legacy then that’s incentive enough to want to keep pushing forward. If we’re better men for the deserving women then I could promise this world would be a better place. Sounds cliché but it all starts with us. Make a decision, do you want to be great? Well I do. Great doesn’t mean perfect to me it just means excelling; and excelling…that’s sexy too.

These are my words, and I make no apologies..

-Kahlil Haywood

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